Online Self Exclusion - Exclude From Every UK Online Casino! How To Do It...

Chances are if you're reading this post, you know exactly what self exclusion is. There are a few things to consider that some may not be aware of. And is self exclusion an effective method of gambling prevention?

As you know, self exclusion is a way of blocking access to a gambling website, with most sites offering exclusion period between 6 months and permanent exclusion. During this period, under no circumstances can the account be reopened.

Self exclusion is a useful but flawed system. I read a lot of other compulsive gamblers write that they have excluded from the sites that they play at, and while that is a great first step to take, ultimately it isn't enough. If you are a compulsive gambler, unless you are excluded from every single online casino, then you are still at risk. However there is a way that this can be done...

Something that some people may not be aware of is how the licensing system works under the UK Gambling Commission. There are literally thousands of online casinos that are open to UK based players, but very few of these are individually owned and tend to belong to a larger operator who actually owns the license that allows them to offer their service. An example of one of these operators is Progress Play Limited, who operate dozens of online casinos available to play in from the UK.

One good thing about self exclusion is that when you exclude from one of an operators brands (casinos), it subsequently blocks you from being able to play at any of that particular operators other brands. So with a few clicks of a button, you can exclude yourself from a large number of casinos and prevent yourself from gambling in a number of places.

The downside to this is that there are over 100 different companies that hold UKGC licenses to provide online gambling in the UK, which means there are a lot of places where a compulsive gambler can get an account and do further damage to themselves.

I have compiled an excel spreadsheet list of all of these license holders and an example of one of their online brands. For someone who is serious about stopping gambling, this gives you the opportunity to self exclude from every one of these operators and completely block your ability to gamble online. I've done it myself, and while it is an incredibly laborious task that took me many hours to get through, it has worked and there is literally not even one online casino that I am now able to gamble at. However I feel somewhat reluctant to post the full list on here as a compulsive gambler may find a new casino they may otherwise not know exists. I would advise anyone who is serious about completely blocking access to online gambling and wants to self exclude from every site in the way I have talked about should do so with the help of a friend or family member who can ensure it is done properly without giving into the temptation to gamble.

I concede this isn't a perfect way to self exclude entirely, but in the absence of the ability to globally self exclude through one form, I believe this to be the only way it can be done. Anyone who would like a copy of the list i have compiled should email me at compulsive.gambling.rambling@gmail.com and i'll happily send it over as soon as possible. A couple of other details about self exclusion are worth considering.

When you exclude from a casino, any attempts to sign up with one of its "sister sites" should be blocked upon registration. However the systems of a few license holders aren't as effective and may still allow you to sign up and possibly even allow you to deposit. If this is the case, YOU WILL NEVER BE PAID ANY WINNINGS! And although it hasn't happened to me, it's entirely possible that your deposits won't be returned. Surely even the most compulsive of gamblers won't knowingly join a site at which they know they have zero chance of winning at.

It's also worth mentioning that signing up to a casino using false details is entirely futile, as in the event you want to withdraw from the site, you will be asked to send in verification documents that you will not be able to provide and will most likely lose your deposits.

This method and list works! But it requires a lot of work and discipline initially. If any of this post doesn't make sense to you or you have any questions about how best to do it, please leave a comment or send me an email and i'll happily answer any questions and provide the full list :)

compulsive.rambling.gambling@gmail.com

Would Anyone Like to Share Their Story?

When I started writing this blog a few weeks ago, one of the things I hoped would be that other people who are compulsive gamblers may see it and find it helpful in some way. More so, I hoped that people would engage with it actively and contribute some material.

I'm thrilled with the way it's going so far. I've had a few great positive comments (and one useless troll comment haha) and one of the things I envisaged would be other compulsive gamblers share their story.

Whether you are reformed and living a better life in recovery, or like me you're still on the road to recovery with work still to do, I would love to publish someone else's story. Even someone struggling to get their addiction under control, it would be great to help raise awareness for the issues we face as problem gamblers.

So if you're reading this and you would like to write about your experiences, leave me a comment under here or send an email to compulsive.gambling.rambling@gmail.com

Cheers!

Do We Feel Too Sorry for Ourselves?

Before I even get started, I think maybe that title looks a little harsh! But I have been thinking about my own problems with gambling and the effect it has had on me, as well as reading other people’s experiences on certain problem gambling forums and I think that as compulsive gamblers perhaps sometimes we do feel too sorry for ourselves.

Now, that may piss some people off and I get it. It’s definitely not intended to be an attack on people who are already having a hard time, far from it! But sometimes I think we can see ourselves too easily as victims, I have been in that mentality myself for the majority of the last year and now I have a problem with that…

Being a compulsive gambler sucks. Period. You never have any money, you have virtually zero self-respect and self-esteem, and chances are you are lying constantly to everyone who you love and care about. I think its pretty fair to say that gambling addiction is a hugely self-destructive and basically selfish affliction. I have spent months and months wallowing, feeling helpless and powerless and making no positive changes to my life as a result.  All that being said, we and we alone are responsible for our actions. Therefore, whether correctly or incorrectly (and I plan on doing some research in the coming days regarding the medical understanding of gambling addiction) I refuse to refer to my problem as being a “disease”. The reason for this is very simple. If I refer to myself as having a “disease” I become a victim. And when I become a victim, I absolve myself from all responsibility and blame and greatly diminish my ability to correct my life and move on. I mean, if I have a disease there isn’t much I can do about it right?

I recognise now that while I thought I knew what I needed to do to stop gambling, I didn’t truly want to embrace the changes that I had to make for this to become a reality. I see posts from other gamblers saying they are at they are at their wits end, they feel sick and that they’re scared and alone. I don’t for one minute belittle these emotions, I have been there and perhaps it’s a necessary part of the addiction cycle you must go through before you can start to recover. But what if we channel these powerful emotions into a positive desire to change, a determination to improve our lives? We are the drivers of our own success and ultimately, we are the only ones who turn this thing around.

I try to point out about as frequently as possible that I am no expert! I’m still very much in the early days of my recovery and have a hell of a long way to go before I start to consider myself “better”, and these are merely my opinions on gambling addiction. But the more I read, the more I research and from the journey I have been on so far, I feel as though I am gaining a far greater understanding of my problem, what I have done wrong in the past and how I can change my life moving forward.

Do You Have a Gambling Problem? How to Spot the Signs.

There are a lot of signs that can tell you if you or someone you know has a gambling problem, or if someone is at risk of developing one. In my own experiences I have conclude that anyone who gambles on a semi-regular basis is at risk of developing a problem, and anyone who gambles on a near daily basis may not be a compulsive gambler but is an addict non-the less.

I sometimes wonder whether there is a useful distinction between the terms “gambling addict” and “compulsive gambler”. My thoughts on this are as follows:

Gambling Addict – Someone who thinks, watches or partakes in gambling on a near daily basis. This has been me at many points in my life. The only distinction o can make here is that I knew my limits and was able to stick to them more easily. But for a gambling addict, gambling is basically a part of everyday life.

Compulsive Gambler – A gambling addict as described above, only lacking any self-control and rational thought when it comes to gambling. As a compulsive gambler you are liable to spending your entire pay check on gambling, taking out loans and credit cards and getting into debt to feed your addiction and allowing it to take over every aspect of your life.

Anyone who is addicted to gambling, whether responsibly or not, is at a heightened risk of developing a compulsive gambling problem and this is where a lot of problems can start to surface. Looking back at myself over the last 7-8 years, I think I was always an addict from pretty much the start of my gambling. However, it was only about 12 months ago that the gambling got out of control and what I would consider to be “compulsive”.

All that being said, here is a list of potential signs that you or someone you know may have a problem:

·         Being pre-occupied or obsessed over gambling – this could include having gambling on your mind a large proportion of the time or watching a lot of gambling related content or videos online

·         Gambling with larger sums of money than you can afford – risking an amount of money that you know you cannot afford, or worse gambling all your disposable income and even money you need to pay bills, get to work or buy food with.

·         Chasing losses – this feeds in to gambling with larger sums than you can afford. Chances are if you’re chasing your losses, then you couldn’t afford to lose that money in the first place. Alternatively, you may be gambling to win rather than for entertainment. This can only ever lead to problems.

·         Becoming withdrawn from work/family/friends to gamble -  This is one that I found was really affecting me. I was spending a lot of time on my own or wanting to be alone so I could gamble. My performance at work was suffering as my thoughts were constantly focused on when I could gamble next or how I was going to get money for gambling or to live off as a result of having lost.

·         Getting into gambling debt – by the time someone gets to this stage, it should already be clear that things are going wrong.

·         Lying about your gambling – when you lose money gambling the last thing you generally want to do is tell other people. In most cases this is probably because you know you have lost more than you should have and you don’t want other people to be aware that you don’t have full control of your gambling. This could also be lying about where you are and what you’re doing when you are gambling somewhere like a casino.

·         Stealing or committing fraud to gamble – this is pretty self-explanatory. Turning to crime is a clear sign that something is very wrong.

These are common and easy to spot signs. I would think that most people who have a gambling problem know it without having to see the symptoms written down, but others may not be so aware.

Once you go from “addict” to “compulsive” it can become very dangerous to your wellbeing. If you think that you might be addicted without having gone fully compulsive yet, maybe take a step back and have a break. Talk to someone and make them aware you feel you are at risk and think about getting yourself some help. I wish I had done this myself. I could have saved myself an awful lot of stress and a shit ton of money!

Two weeks today since my last gamble! Been quite some time since I’ve abstained for as long as that and it feels fucking excellent!

Just a Quick One

It's been 12 days now since my last bet and especially since opening up last weekend about the extent of my problems I've been feeling really positive. I've received a lot of positive and supportive comments from strangers where I've been posting my links and hearing stories from others who have conquered there demons which has been really awesome.

I think compulsive gamblers need a lot of support to help them get through their problems and I've found it particularly inspirational to hear from those who have managed to turn their lives around.

However these last few days I've been feeling that itch again. I fully expected to get that feeling sometimes still and I have managed to resist the urge but I wonder, how long does it take before you stop getting those temptations? I have read others say they stopped gambling and then were able to go back and bet responsibly again, but I don' think that will ever be me.

Gambling Debt - A Destructive Symptom

A seemingly inevitable part of a compulsive gambling addiction is financial difficulties. Many of us will have experienced the panic after having lost most or all of our wages within days or even hours of payday. Bills not paid, rent not paid, no money to get to work etc. It can feel like the only way to manage is to get in to debt, whether its credit cards, personal loans or the worst of them all, payday loans. I found myself in this situation many times, and the result has been just over £13,000 of debt racked up in 12 months. I still have to take a deep breath when I see that figure written down.

The problem with this is deeper than just how much money we end up owing. In my experiences so far trying to get my life back on track, its proved a huge obstacle, and it has fed my need, or at least my perceived need to keep on gambling hoping for that miracle hit that will get me back to where I was. Chasing a loss is a pretty good indicator of a problem gambler or being at risk of developing into one. If you chase £200 deposits when you lose because you’re a compulsive gambler, then how can you ever stop chasing a debt that runs into the thousands?

Debt has become a massive obstacle for me for other reasons. No one knew how bad it had become. Sure, my girlfriend knew I had money problems and that I have some debts, but nowhere near the extent that it really is. I felt that I needed to get my debts down to the levels everyone else thought they were in order to cover the months of lies and seclusion, and the only way I felt I could ever achieve that was to gamble.

Do you know what is really sad though? I have had sessions where I have won amounts significant enough to make a huge impact in my debts. The worst one was over a week of gambling where I had several huge hits and had turned £200 into nearly £5000, enough to clear close to half of everything I owed. And I spunked the lot up the wall in no time at all without ever seeing a penny of it hit my bank. I think that was the loss that has hurt most in my gambling career (odd thing to call it!). But I have come to the realisation that I would only have ever kept that money warm for the casino until they got it back. There is only one way that I will ever clear my debts and we all know what that is. Hard work and NO MORE GAMBLING!

One thing I know for sure is how much it has helped now my girlfriend knows everything. I wish I had been brave enough to tell her myself rather than her find out through other means but these things happen for a reason I guess. Not having to hide it anymore and not having to try and get it back before anyone finds out has removed a huge pressure from my mind and whether it is related or not, my gambling cravings have been much less than usual. Cautious Optimism!!

I think there is a pretty obvious lesson in here, one I probably already knew. If you truly want to change and put the gambling behind you, you have to confide in and accept the support of others, and that support is only meaningful if you know that you have been totally honest about your situation. No half truths, they only serve to keep you in that hole. Debt is both a symptom and a cause of problem gambling in so far as it keeps the self destructive cycle going. That cause needs to be tackled by having your finances monitored and controlled.

Easier said than done right? Absolutely! It takes a lot of courage to open up to people about how much you might be struggling. But it’s just so hard to deal with on your own. Until you are able to open up to your loved ones about it, there are some other people you can talk to.

Gamcare  -  Provide gambling therapy free of charge across the country, but also a phone service should you just need someone to talk to.

Gamblers Anonymous  -  A self help group run by other gambling addicts that hold weekly meetings in locations across the UK. This is one I haven’t tried myself but is something I think I’ll give a go at some point.

Step Change  -  A debt advice charity who can advise you on how to tackle your debts.

Another day another dollar! Er, maybe a bad choice of words! Just learning how to take this all one day at a time.

An Update - The Lies That Haunt Us

So yesterday got interesting. The one thing I couldn’t face the most was owning up to my girlfriend about how bad my debts had got. Turns out I didn’t need to, Barclaycard called when I was out playing golf to remind me that I had a late payment and she was in the house to hear the message. After some rummaging around through my letters she quickly learnt the extent of how bad they have gotten. I was swiftly called back home (in the middle of the greatest round of my life I might add) so we could hash it out.

She was mad obviously, but not really about the amount of debt but rather the fact I had been lying about it for months. She’s sticking with me though and I’m finally going to let her take control of my money until I get back on my feet.

What did I learn? I think one of the hardest parts of gambling addiction is being able to be honest with people about where we are with it. As a compulsive gambler you constantly feel like you’re struggling on your own trying to overcome your addiction. The last thing you want to do when you have just spunked hundreds or even thousands of pounds is go and tell someone what’s just happened. How can someone understand why you would do such a thing, especially when you can’t understand or rationalise your own actions.

Ultimately, keeping it all to yourself is really damaging to both your current wellbeing and your ability to start recovering. The guilt from repeatedly lying to people you care about only serves to keep you in the self-destructive cycle of gambling. It pushes you away from your loved ones and effects your relationships to the point where you become distant and withdrawn.

I feel lucky she found out sooner rather than later. I wish I had been strong enough to tell her myself, I got lucky that she found out herself (although after I was done tearing my way around the golf course would have been ideal!) and still wants to stick by me and support me. I feel better today than I have done in months. Strangely, I haven’t even thought about gambling today other than to write this. An enormous weight feels as though it has been lifted from my shoulders.

One whole week without gambling. There is still a lot of work to do and a long way to go, but every day is another victory.